Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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