1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
