shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
