Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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