He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
