I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
