are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
