I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
