it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
