we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
