Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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