There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
