did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
