Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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