i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
