my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
