Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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