Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
