I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
