I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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