Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
