morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
