Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
