i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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