The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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