Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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