Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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