Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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