I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I stole a fireplace last night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
