Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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