Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
