I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
