Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just cropdusted the office
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
