so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
