I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well I just put wine in my tea
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
