Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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