How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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