that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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