I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
