Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
