I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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