Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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