My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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