well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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