My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
