Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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