i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize