Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
