Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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