you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's just like the Real World with babies
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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