took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
