I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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