Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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