$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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