if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
ok first of all what the fuck
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
