By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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