Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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