I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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